After much waiting, yesterday August 27, 2013 was my diagnosis day.
The surgeon who performed my biopsy called around noon. Eagerly I asked the verdict of the pathology results: Hodgkin's Lymphoma.
I was linked with a local oncologist and my first appointment is set for this Thursday at 11:15.
Believe it or not, I still sincerely feel good. No breakdown of tears has occured to date....Knowing my emotional self, eventually it will hit but I'm not worried about it. I want to save my energy for everything to come. I am young and (sort of) in shape so I am going to rock whatever is ahead of me. I am focusing on the positives of my life and appreciating each day aside from the awful humidity.
I am so appreciative of the wonderful family and friend support that surrounds me. I am not alone.
The background scoop of this current sitch is as follows...
I have had a productive cough since January. I though nothing of it because I work with children (I have the best job in the ENTIRE world and I work with the most wonderful, beautiful, caring human beings you could ever encounter) and January is prime cold season. In my mind, it was just something I picked up from a little munchkin. Well come March, my mother had enough of my hacking and insisted I go to the doctor. Reluctantly I went and got a prescription for antibiotics to treat my "bronchitis". The cough disappeared for about a day and immediately returned once I finished all my pills. I still thought nothing of it because I thought a cough is no big deal. Well months passed until the end of June when I woke up with horrible chest pain on my left side. I couldn't cough without making myself cry. Each breath in felt like a knife was being stabbed right into my body. I went to an outpatient urgent care and they took an X-ray to see what was going on. Of course, where I was having the pain looked like beautiful lung tissue. However, on either sides of my windpipe were clusters of swollen lymph nodes. The urgent care doctor reviewed the film with me saying it could be one of three things: bad bronchitis, sarcoidosis or possible lymphoma.
Although I went to nursing school, I had no idea what sarcoidosis was. Without skipping a beat I turned on my lovely iPhone and went to town. Basically it is an inflammatory disease of the lungs where your body attacks its own tissue. It is treated with steroids and is generally not life threatening. Interesting. I could deal with this steroid requiring issue no big deal. The last option, the lymphoma, is what caught me off guard. I inquired about familial tendencies considering my maternal grandfather a.k.a. Grandpa had Non-Hodgkin's Lymphoma. The doctor said that yes it was a concern of his. He prescribed me a 10 day course of steroids and antibiotics. I was to get a Chest CAT scan following my course and follow up with my primary care doc.
I took all the pills again and did just as I was told to do. I was hoping that the medicines would help the swollen lymph nodes reduce in size but unfortunately on CAT scan the clusters were still there. By this time it was beginning of July. My family doctor said I needed to see a Cardiothoracic surgeon to perform a biopsy of the tissue so we can determine if its sarcodiosis or lymphoma. The two diseases can look identical on diagnostic scans so samples are really the best way to go. Well I went to one surgeon who instantly but politely said he's not the right guy. He referred me to a pulmonologist where I had a pulmonary function test and my scan's reviewed. I asked the pulmonologist for his gut feeling. He said lymphoma but he couldn't be sure. He referred me to a top notch surgeon who would perform a mediastinoscopy. When approached with the same question about gut feelings towards the diagnosis, the surgeon echoed his thoughts of lymphoma. I took the news like a woman and nodded. No tears. No panic. Just time to pull my big girl panties on and get to work. My amazing Mom who accompanied me to all my appointments reacted more like how you are supposed to when you hear you may have cancer. I love her with all my heart and seeing her cry has been the single HARDEST part about this so far. I hate making her upset and worried.
So long story stort on the 20th of August I had my surgery under general anesthesia. I have a little incision about 1 1/2 inches wide at the base of my neck. I had no nausea following surgery (thank god) and only took Motrin once before leaving the hospital. The steri strip has fallen off and now I am just putting neosporin on it everyday and popping a bandaid over it so I can keep it C/D/I and well approximated ;)
The surgery itself involved a scope going down into my chest and lymph nodes being plucked out to be tested. The nodes were sent "on rush delivery" and results would return in around 4 days. Well come the morning of 27th I began to become a little worried since the math was clearly off. Hearing the news was relief. I called my mom, texted some friends with the little battery I had left on my phone.
So here we are. I'm ready to start. On my birthday a week ago I was told that 23 is the best year of your life. Well, I plan on making it such. I don't see this as a set back at all. I am going to continue moving forward. I am excited because I work tonight for the first time in over a week. I am chomping at the bit to go back.
As an update to my life outside my health, I am so excited because yesterday Christian and I got the keys to our first apartment together! It is a one bedroom little gem with amazing natural light. Per the building's authority we are not allowed to officially move in until this Thursday but last night we unpacked all Christian's goods. He slept on the floor last night and I came back home to Ellicott City. I am pumped to live in Dupont Circle with my man and my kitty!
P.S. This is my first time blogging and I am hoping it will be therapeutic in my journey. It will be an ongoing process to learn how to change the layout and post pictures. So please, bear with me. More to follow
Peace,
S Ham
